Sweet Babysitter (A Virgin Single Dad Romance) Page 6
I throw my head down into my pink frilly pillow and let out a sob. Look at me. I’m in the same bedroom I had since I was a kid, I just got fired from the only job I ever wanted, and I have one of the biggest problems that a woman can have growing inside of me. I can already hear my mom’s lectures ringing in my ear. Would she even be supportive of me? Would she let me keep the baby? My hand tightens over my belly. No matter what, I’m not giving it up. Even if I’m raising him or her all alone. I am meant to be a mother, and even if it’s not a traditional way of going about it, there’s no doubt that I already love this little bean. It’s all I’ll ever have of Kane.
“Kane,” I say softly.
Somehow, in between the spaghetti dinners and the scorching hot sex, I fell in love with the single dad. He’s such a good father, even if he made mistakes in his past, and he was always so good to me. And the way he made me feel, making every part of my body come alive… I don’t think I could ever find another man in the world who could do that to me again. In fact, I know it.
I shouldn’t have fallen in love with him. And I definitely shouldn’t have loved his daughters as if they were my own. That was the other part of this whole mess that I regret more than anything. Because I care about those two girls. Amanda with her easy nature and quick acceptance. Amelia, who was harder to get to know, but smart as a whip and more sensitive than she wants to let on. In fact, it took everything in me to pull it together enough to tell them goodbye. Good thing they were mostly focused on their T.V. show that I was able to just say goodnight and book it out of there. I didn’t explain that I was never coming back. Their dad could handle that part after what he did.
And it was mean what he did. I understand that he has the girl’s best interests in mind, but I thought that it was kind of an overreaction. Amanda’s so young, and she misses her mommy so much, of course she would jump at the chance for me to be one. I’m sure she didn’t intend it the way Kane took it. But he’s their father, and he knows best.
I take the little box from my bedside table and put it into the drawer. I went all over the city to try and find a cute charm bracelet for Amelia. Her birthday is coming up, and a charm bracelet topped her list. I even bought a few charms to start her off: ‘A’ for her name, a little kitty, because she loved them, and finally a paint palette, because she wants to grow up and be an artist one day. Maybe I could still mail it to her, I think dejectedly.
What am I going to do with myself now?
There’s always school, I know, and with the money I saved up from babysitting, it would probably at least pay for one semester. Mom’s always going on about how high school didn’t show the full range of choices for careers, and that maybe if I take a few classes I would find something. Cooking or baking maybe? I did like to do that with the girls. And there’s always retail again, my original plan before I entered the Morrison’s lives. None of it sounds good though. The hole left by that family is too big to fill.
Just then, the doorbell rings.
I sit up in bed. Weird. We never have late visitors. Mom and dad just aren’t the kind of people to always have people over all the time. They would have told me if they were having company for dinner. I get out of bed and peek out the window. A familiar SUV sits on the curb. I freeze. Could it be? I press my face to the glass, trying to angle and see who’s at the door. My heart stops when I see the familiar profile of Kane’s face.
What is he doing here?!
Whirling around, I take in my room. He’s here. For me. It has to be for me. If he comes up to my room… but I can’t talk to him downstairs. I’m bound to dissolve into tears and then my parents will really suspect something. I stare at my room with crazed eyes. Immediately, I leap into action. All the clothes I’ve flung onto the floor are pushed into my closet, and I try hard to tidy the bed. I can hear the front door close, which means that mom or dad must have let him in already. I throw the bedspread over the mess, and then race to the mirror. Luckily I have waterproof mascara, but my hair is a mess. I run a comb through it, just as he knocks on the door.
“Penny?” he calls in a low voice.
I reach for the doorknob, take a deep breath, and open it.
He looks… sad.
“Come in,” I say.
He steps inside, taking in my whole room at once with his cool blue eyes. I try to fit him into context, but it’s strange to see him in my room. It feels childish, and for the first time, I realize that I’ve grown up. I know my purpose in life, I know what I want. We’ve always been to his. My bed’s just a twin, too small for the two of us. Are you seriously thinking about sex right now? I push my hair behind my ears to cover up my completely inappropriate thoughts.
“What are you doing here Kane?”
My voice cracks when I say his name.
“Penny,” he says, coming forward to take my hands. “I’m an idiot.”
I don’t say anything, not trusting myself to speak.
“When I sent you away, I was scared. Fucking scared. You see, I’ve never felt this way about any woman. Never. Andrea and I married young because she had gotten pregnant. It was the right thing to do, I thought at the time, plus she would have been ruined. I couldn’t do that to her when it was a mistake on both our parts. But I never loved her. Not in the way I loved you. It’s powerful, overwhelming, more than I realized. I gave my heart to you before I knew it and it scared the shit out of me.”
He pauses.
“I realized, once you had left, that I was alone, that instead of doing the right thing, I had given up everything. Only this time, I decided I wasn’t going to just live with it. This time, I was going to make things right. Amelia and Amanda love you too, as much as I do, and together we can be a family, if you’ll still have me.”
“You’re saying that you love me?” I say, my heart racing.
“I love you Penny.” His hands pull me close, and I let him. “I love you more than anything in the world. In fact, I don’t ever want you to leave my side again. And if you’ll do me the honor, I want to marry you.”
My heart fills with joy at his words, and I can hardly believe it. Kane is offering me everything I’ve ever wanted.
“Yes!” I cry out. “Yes I’ll marry you. I’ve fallen in love with you too Kane Morrison, and as long as you promise never to do something so silly again, yes I will marry you!”
He picks me up, kisses me hard on the lips. Our tongues dance against each other, and I feel love coursing through me. My hands reach around his neck, pulling him closer, wanting him more. But then I realize I haven’t told him the news yet. I pull back.
“Wait, I have a surprise for you,” I tell him. “I forgot to but it’s kind of important.”
He puts me back down onto the ground.
“A surprise?”
I nod. Even though we’re together now, there’s still a whisper of doubt as to whether or not he’ll be happy at the news. I mean, his ex-wife and him had an accidental pregnancy… No, you can’t think that way. You have to believe that this is different. I take a deep breath, memorize everything about this wonderful man’s face as I wrestle with how to tell him. In the end, I decide just to keep it simple.
“We’re going to have a baby together.”
For a split second, I worry, but then Kane breaks out into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. Seriously, if our baby is half as gorgeous as its dad, they’re going to be trouble.
“You’re pregnant?” he asks.
“I am. I only found out today when I realized I was late for my cycle. I took the test three times.”
“I’m going to be a dad!” he exclaims.
I let out the breath, relief washing over me. He’s just as excited about this as I am.
“You are. And I’m going to be a mom.”
I’m going to be a mom. Those words burn bright in me. He pulls me towards him again in a kiss.
“We’re going to have to have the wedding soon then,” he says. “There’s no way we’re going to have time af
ter.”
“I’m guessing you want to do something exciting like get married in a hot air balloon over the Grand Canyon?” I tease.
“Something like that,” he says with a grin. “But the bride will get final say of course.”
Epilogue
Penny
Three months later…
The wedding march starts, and turn to my friends, squeezing both their hands. I can’t believe this moment has come for me at last. These past few months have felt like a whirlwind of planning and meetings and everything to try and get it all arranged.
“Can you believe I’m the first one of us to get married?” I say, rubbing my belly.
“And have a baby,” Sarah says with a smile.
“And go skydiving!” Jen adds.
We’re at a skydiving place owned by one of Kane’s friends. When we first joked about an adrenaline filled wedding, I didn’t think we were going to go through with it, but it seemed fitting for what Kane did. And I’ve always wanted to skydive. It seems like the perfect way to start a new chapter in our lives, one of adventure together. The whole thing pulled together so quickly too. There was a nice big field for us to set up our tents in, and with a little help and a lot of flowers, we managed to transform a boring venue into a beautiful one.
When we first announced the news, I was certain that my parents would disapprove of the relationship. My dad recovered quickly to support me once he saw how happy I was, like he always does, but my mom took a bit of convincing. It probably helped to meet Amelia, my future stepdaughter. She’s really smart and she when she expressed interest in becoming a lawyer, mom was smitten. In her she found the daughter she’s always wanted I think. I’m okay with it. As long as I still have my family, that’s all that matters. And hopefully this will be a way for my mom and me to build a better relationship now that she’s not making me pick a career. I know exactly what I’m going to be: a mom.
“I think I’m up soon, we better go,” Sarah says.
The ceremony is small, with just over fifty guests. We did it this way because all we want to do is be married, not have a huge ceremony or party to plan for. It suits Kane and me perfectly.
“You look like a beautiful bride,” Jen whispers.
She carefully rearranges my veil. I’ve got half my hair swept up, the veil gently cascading down behind me. My dress is a mermaid dress, studded with crystals and lace. I feel like a princess in it.
“It’s your cue,” my wedding planner says, tapping Sarah’s arm.
She nods.
“You got this Penny,” she says, then turns to step through the flaps of the tent.
Next is Jen, and then finally dad and I. He links my arm through his and holds me tight.
“Sweetheart,” he says, “there’s still time to change your mind if you want to. You just say the word.”
I laugh.
“No thanks dad. I’m ready for this,” I say.
“Good. And the offer still stands, even if you are married you hear me? Don’t ever let the man treat you less than the best. I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know.” I give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for always supporting me.”
He holds open the flap, and slowly we walk through. All eyes are on me, but I’m focused on only one person: Kane. He looks so handsome today, just like a movie star in his tux and blue tie. His blonde hair is perfect, his smile big as he watches me come up the aisle. There’s even a glimmer in his eye.
“You take care of her,” my dad instructs in a low voice.
“I promise,” Kane says.
I let go of my dad and find his rough hands, holding tightly as we stand together to say our vows. I can’t remember our words, just the end, when I say “I do” to be Kane’s wife, and then the kiss when he pulls me to him and everyone cheers. I’m crying happy tears, everything else blurring but for my husband.
Then it’s time for our reception lunch, a simple picnic style affair that allows us to see all of our guests.
“And now everyone, I hope you’ll all stay and enjoy the party,” Kane says. “But it’s time for my bride and I to go on our honeymoon.”
Someone whistles in the back as Kane scoops me up and carries me out. I laugh, holding on tight, until we make it outside and he gently deposits me onto the ground.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” I whisper to Kane as we hold hands and walk towards the aircraft hangar.
“I can,” he says with a smile. “I always knew there was a wild streak in you.”
When we get inside, we’re directed to change. We’ve brought clothes of course, and our tux and dress will be returned to my mom for safekeeping. In keeping with the theme, I’ve got white jeans, boots, and a white blouse. Then it’s into the jumpsuits, and into the plane. My heart thuds as we taxi for takeoff.
“This is crazy,” I yell to Kane.
“It is, but once you get the adrenaline bug, it’s not going to be enough!”
“I hope so!” We’ve got a honeymoon in Thailand, filled with snorkeling and all kinds of activities that Kane planned for us.
Soon we’re high in the sky. Kane’s been certified as a skydiving instructor, so I don’t have to go with anyone but him. His friend points out the field, and a car waiting to take us to the airport immediately after. He pulls open the door for us, and I can hear the wind whipping by.
“Scared?” Kane shouts.
“Yes!”
“Don’t be,” he says, leaning close. “I’m right here.”
He works quickly, strapping us together. He finds my hand, squeezes it tight.
“Ready Penny?”
“Wait! If we both die, I want you to know that I love you more than anything.”
He leans toward me, kisses my cheek. We’re too tightly strapped for anything more, but I still feel better.
“You’re not going to die. I promise. You’re with me.”
And then we’re dropping out of the sky, air hurtling past me. Someone’s screaming, or maybe it’s me screaming. Everything is gone, and all I can think of is that I’m here, doing this with Kane. Adrenaline is pumping through me, making me almost giddy. With a jerk, our chute opens up, and we’re floating. The world lies stretched out all around us, and I feel like I can see forever into the distance. Everything is perfect, touched by the sun. The trees, the fields, it’s all perfect. And from here, 13,000 feet in the sky, somehow, I just know, our marriage will be too.
*****
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Enjoy the first chapter of my book Dirty Secret!
Serena
Honey, it’s when life seems darkest that you have to find the light.
It’s a stupid thing my dad used to say, and I have no idea why that popped into my head just now. I never really understood it, although he said it quite a few times just before he skipped out of my life, so maybe it was his cryptic way of trying to warn me as to what was going to happen? Well if it was, it was a really crappy way of doing it. But that was how he was. Somehow he knew he was charming, and he used it to get out of every little scrape in his life. There was nothing that was his fault. And when his mess became too big for his smile to get him out of, he took the coward’s way out, leaving my mom and I as the scapegoats.
Bitterness wells up in my throat, and I have to squeeze my eyes shut to force the feeling out. I swore that I wouldn’t let my dad make me feel that way when I left Herman Springs, but coming back here has brought all the memories back. I open my eyes, and the little town laid out before me comes into view again. I remember every little bit of it, from the corner store where I used to buy snacks on the way home from school, t
o the clearing in the woods where Harrington Asphalt’s gravel pits lie. Matthew Harrington, I think for a fleeting moment, before the stab of betrayal forces me to put him aside too.
I push back from the half wall of the parking garage and turn away from the view. I might as well get this over with as soon as possible. My hands automatically hit the lock button on my VW one more time, even though I know I locked it. I pull open my purse and recheck my mother’s room. Okay, enough stalling, I tell myself. It’s not like putting it off is going to make this visit any easier. This day isn’t the darkest, but it sure isn’t bright either. And I have no clue what light I could find in it. I hate hospitals, and I hate coming back here. I’m not sure if anyone will recognize me again. It’s been at least four years, but who knows. I know I look like my father, with his blue eyes and jet black hair, and a small town like this won’t forget traitors that easily. With every step I take towards the elevators and what lies ahead, my shoulders hunch up, my body and mind putting up the defensive walls I haven’t needed since I left.
The parking garage is only three levels, and it doesn’t take long for the elevator to arrive. I step in, sighing with relief that it was empty of people. Once it opens on the ground floor, I get out and quickly walk across the road towards the hospital. It’s on a hill, I guess so that sick people can have a nice view of the valley and the woods. There’s woodland all around, and beyond that down the road are the houses for the rich people of Herman Springs, including a prominent mansion I saw along the way with H’s on either side of it’s wrought iron gates. That wasn’t there the last time. I guess that the company must have grown into a bigger deal than I thought.
The hospital is a grey concrete building which has seen better days. I don’t know why they do that with hospitals, make them look hopeless and depressing. You’d think that they would try the opposite. I hurry to make the doors behind an elderly couple, the husband supporting his wife as they totter into the building. I skirt around them and head straight for the information desk. A slight kid, a high school volunteer probably, stands behind the counter.